This Book Has Convicted Me

I’ve been a pastors child for fifteen years. They say its harder for someone growing up in a Christian home to pinpoint when they were saved; I say otherwise.  Sunday school, bible studies, youth groups, never missing a service for most of my life,  learning the language, the songs, the names, the story. I had it all down. Called myself a Christian. Thought I was a Christian. I’ve always believed in God, that Jesus was His Son, and that He died for the sins of the world; But in my heart I did not know Him.

If I had died two years ago I would have been amongst the countless standing before the wrath filled God on Judgement day who would be saying to Him “Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?”  And He would have replied “I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.”. But in His great mercy He called me out of my life of religion.

I called myself Christian but in reality I was no different than the world. I would lie, steal, lust, fornicate, curse the name that is above all names, drink, party, hate without cause. I talked like the world, thought like the world, acted like the world. And even worse I had an idol image of God; I worshipped a god who would excuse my sin, justify my sin, wouldn’t convict me of sin, and let me do whatever I wanted because he was “love”.

God doesnt tolerate idols. He broke me and brought me low and in that time of lowness I had the strangest urge to dust off my bible and read it. Woah to me when I read the word of God. My idol was toppled over and smashed to pieces. All the new aged ‘christian theology’, the 15 years of feel good emotional sermons, and man centered religion was set ablaze. Do you want to know what I found in this book? A true God. A Holy God. A God who would not tolerate one lie to be before His eyes. A God who created all things through His power and wonder. A God who had destroyed the world with water, and who promises to do it again with fire. 

Looking at His holiness gave me a mirror in which I could finally see myself in all my darkness. God would not need witnesses to condem me, for in my own heart I saw myself as guilty. The cross made sense to me at that moment. My sins would justly condem me to hell, but God the Father, in His mind blowing grace and love for me, provided His sinless Son in my place.



This book has convicted me of atleast two hundred thousand reasons why I deserve eternal torment in the Lake that burns with fire, and the one reason why I wont.

The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Amen.